Every household should contain at least one preschooler so everyone can experience the sheer randomness and at times down-right creepiness of how preschooler minds think. So to enlighten those who don’t have the joy of one of these at home, here are some choice gleamings from actual real life conversations I have had with my 3 year old:

“I wasn’t talking to you mummy, I was talking to the grey man under the table” – Needless to say I was very cautious to sit at the dinning table after this conversation.

“I just need to make daddy sleep so I can finish watching my movie” – her explanation of why she had put her hands on the hubsters nose and mouth and seemed to be smothering him with her body.

“the ladybird is dead, the giraffe killed him” – it was 8 in the morning, I didn’t dare ask for an explanation.

“I love daddy so much, he is my favorite snack, I am going to eat him for dinner” – I didn’t even want to dwell on what was going through her mind to warrant this out burst.

“I am dead now, you have to talk about me because I am dead” – ummmm…no?!

Maybe I should turn the rest into a Stephen King novel, this is probably why the idea of Killer Clowns didn’t scare me, I live with something far worse….. a toddler!